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Is there a Clarke Kiernan fanclub?
Of course. The membership fee for many years was three goats and a sheep. This has had to be increased to two zebras for security reasons. They must be crossed – and preferably endorsed.
Being a member of the Clarke Kiernan club is dangerous and should not be attempted without reading our guidelines. *see note below
As a member of the Clarke Kiernan club, you will receive much kudos due to the exclusivity of the club (Bernard is very proprietorial with the membership) but we are having to work on the possibility of giving something slightly more tangible. While Bernard is running the club you can forget anything of value being given out.
The Clarke Kiernan fan-club enjoys life to the full. The most recent fan-club excursion was Eddie Stobart truck spotting on the M25. We are grateful to Bernard for organising the outing. It was suspected by some that the decision to set out at 1am was a mistake but the three who turned up decided (by a majority) that it was a stunning example of strategic planning. The winner was (of course) Bernard although no lorries were actually seen in the fog but the negative counting for false claims did for the opposition. Well done Bernard. Nice to see the night view goggles were left in their bag. The regular Eddie spotting has had to be cancelled since the publication of the iphone application that identifies where all lorries are. It took some time to realise that Bernard was not texting his wife, Deirdre, as he claimed while still spotting the Eddies some mile or so in the distance.
The fan-club outings and other activities are being planned and we hope to hear from Bernard soon. His wife, Deirdre, is assisting Bernard with the administration for which we are eternally grateful. They are taking the task to heart. They are rarely to be seen in the office due to the pressure of testing all manner of potential trips. We are grateful for their dedication with not a single over time claim between them.
Bernard has been hard at it again and decided to share his genius. We must stress that the thoughts are his alone and no offence could therefore be intended.
* Still being drafted. Come along Bernard.
1 Lamberts Yard, Tonbridge, TN9 1ER
Phone: 01732360999, Fax : 01732353835, email@example.com, Map